APRIL 2008 A TRIP TO PAY MY RESPECT
Just when i thought i could do it.
When i thought it was gonna be ok?..
I tried. I went to visit, but cried..said I'm ok but i lied!!..
Stood still for 45 minutes..long enuff to daze into memory city.
I tripped on the way out thru the grass, tears blocking my view..tried walking fast but couldnt get my feet and mind to collabo and react
A groundskeeper asked "maam r u ok" as i passed..and offered a hug bcuz i almost collapsed..
Im not over it.. this is just the beginning.. 3 yrs and i still call her name from the kitchen.
All I wanted was to make her proud..Im screaming from my heart..my tears are even loud..they hit my cheeks like rocks..
I begged god to make it stop..and all he said was when your up top..you'll see her later..for now finish your journey and get it together.if you need to cry you have my shoulder..but child everyone's time gets closer.
I turned around, wiped my tears..looked back over my 24 years..this life is un predictable..grimey and difficult..
Obstacles keep testing me, i have my life together but it's missing a few pieces..
Both my parents and a handful of people..
I am happy for those still here..I'm just upset on the same day every year
I have to let it out ..it;'s unhealthy to fake it..my emotions are tidal waves..but i have to face them.
I'm not ready yet.
to be continued..Written by Jackie da Model..// Jackie C. 4-27-2008
Just when i thought i could do it.
When i thought it was gonna be ok?..
I tried. I went to visit, but cried..said I'm ok but i lied!!..
Stood still for 45 minutes..long enuff to daze into memory city.
I tripped on the way out thru the grass, tears blocking my view..tried walking fast but couldnt get my feet and mind to collabo and react
A groundskeeper asked "maam r u ok" as i passed..and offered a hug bcuz i almost collapsed..
Im not over it.. this is just the beginning.. 3 yrs and i still call her name from the kitchen.
All I wanted was to make her proud..Im screaming from my heart..my tears are even loud..they hit my cheeks like rocks..
I begged god to make it stop..and all he said was when your up top..you'll see her later..for now finish your journey and get it together.if you need to cry you have my shoulder..but child everyone's time gets closer.
I turned around, wiped my tears..looked back over my 24 years..this life is un predictable..grimey and difficult..
Obstacles keep testing me, i have my life together but it's missing a few pieces..
Both my parents and a handful of people..
I am happy for those still here..I'm just upset on the same day every year
I have to let it out ..it;'s unhealthy to fake it..my emotions are tidal waves..but i have to face them.
I'm not ready yet.
to be continued..Written by Jackie da Model..// Jackie C. 4-27-2008
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