Saturday, April 30, 2011

Then and ONLY then you know


When you don't have the urge to seek options
when you don't want to turn back and let curiousity lead you to your past
when you understand the value of friendship, love, and loyalty
when you can talk without going to bed angry or giving your back to your partner
when you no longer feel the need to hold people on the back burner "just in case"
when you can walk away from temptation
when you will say whatever you have to honestly rather than sugar coat things to protect the persons feelings
when you KNOW that theres no time for games
when you address people who disrespect or cross the line/boundaries
when you absolutely care
when you wake up and go to bed with them on your mind
when you cant be apart without atleast speaking 
when you acknowledge all communication not just selectively 
when you understand each others life styles and jobs
when your friends know each other and there are no secrets 
when you DONT walk out of the room to take a call
when you give your attention to only them and don't feel obligated to stroke other people's ego's 
when you can have the most fun doing nothing or something out of the ordinary 
when you cant sleep at night until you hear "i love you" 
when you can spend time with them, their friends, and then some without feeling forced..and enjoy it
when you completely trust one another and there are no reasons not to
when you dont get angry over nothing...instead you discuss it like adults
when you LOVE SOMEONE you can relate to all of the above.

If you don't ... it isn't meant to be. 

Friday, April 15, 2011

Dear You.

When we are together am I the only one?..like Ke$ha says....
Do i make your heart beat like an 808 drum?
Are you pre occupied with texts and calls?
Or are you hypnotized by my voice and all...

I have a strong presence...but im not trying to intimidate..
If you have groupies or haters don't procrastinate...
Make your circle a real one.. only friends, family, and people who truely respect you..
don't wait until they ruin what's been established
Im here today full force..but
If you give me a reason I'll vanish into tomorrow by cause
Im all about loyalty, respect, dedication, and honesty
No time for games or deceipt

You have the blueprint so it's all on you
Your the foundation...don't let it crumble.
Im faithful to the end and extremely humble
I don't flirt, cheat, or lie..I'd rather hurt someone with the truth than watch their heart die
All the people who have pursued me are slowly leaving my life...better off so I can go on without drama...
I don't deal with jealousy, baggage, or baby mommas!

PICTURES JUST BECAUSE ....A LIL TRIP DOWN THE PATH OF JDM































MY 27TH BDAY WEEK



THIS WEEK HAS BEEN EXTREMELY UNPREDICTABLE. 

FOR THE MOST PART MY DAYS WERE GOOD AND SOME NIGHTS WERE GREAT... WORK WAS LAID BACK WHICH WAS GOOD FOR MY FIRST WEEK. 

I CAUGHT UP WITH MANY OLD FACES AT MY OLD OFFICES...I HEARD OF 3 PEOPLE PASSING AWAY RIP CYNTHIA, R.I.P. JORGE FROM THE MAILROOM AT WORK,  AND RIP MY FRIENDS MOTHER FROM WORK...LIFE IS SHORT AND FULL OF OBSTACLES AND SURPRISES. ON TUESDAY THE DAY BEFORE MY BDAY SOMEONE I WAS SENT TO WORK WITH GOT ME A BDAY CAKE DURING LUNCH AS A GESTURE OF APPRECIATION AND RECOGNITION...

THAT SAME NIGHT MY BF HAD HIS MOM MAKE ME A BDAY CAKE AND WAS THE FIRST TO WISH ME A HAPPY BDAY AT 12:00 ... WEDNESDAY EVENING I HAD AN "ALRIGHT" EVENING NOT WHAT I ANTICIPATED..AND TODAY AFTER A LONG DAY I STOPPED TO RE CHARGE MY PHONE AT A STARBUCKS ON THE WAY HOME...AND AN OLDER LATINA WOMAN CAME UP TO ME AND GAVE ME A PIECE OF CAKE AND TOLD ME IT WAS HER BDAY.. SHE REMINDED ME OF MY MOTHER...THEN I TOLD HER MINE JUST PASSED AND SHE SANG TO ME IN SPANISH "FELIZ CUMPLEANOS" COINCIDENTALLY THE WAY MY MOM USED TO SING IT....I WALKED OUT WITH A SMILE AFTER THANKING HER BUT BURST INTO TEARS ON THE TRAIN RIDE HOME...

SO BASICALLY...

IVE BEEN EATING CAKE ALL WEEK AND IM SIGNING UP FOR NYSC...STRANGERS THAT DONT EVEN KNOW ME ARE A SIGN OF GOOD HEARTS STILL LINGERING OUT THERE...OR PEOPLE THAT WERE MEANINGFUL TO ME IN A PAST LIFE... MANY OF MY PERSONAL FRIENDS AND FAMILY HAVE RE APPEARED AND IM GRATEFUL... MY QUALITY OF LIFE IS AT AN ALL TIME HIGH AND I AM THANKFUL I AM LIVING AND NOT DEAD.

THESE PAST FEW MONTHS HAVE BEEN AN EXTREME STRUGGLE...GOING FROM LIVING COMFORTABLY TO HAVING SURGERY AND NOT MAKING ANY MONEY AND BEING AT MY WITTS END...THEN LIVING LIFE AS IF IT WERE MY LAST DAY EVEN THO I HAD THE WORLD ON MY SHOULDERS...

YOU CANT TAKE EVERYTHING AND BE UPSET OR IMMATURE IN LIFE.. YOU HAVE TO APPRECIATE AND MOVE FORWARD DESPITE WHATEVER OBSTACLES ARISE... 

JAPAN WENT THROUGH HELL 
HAITI WENT THROUGH HELL
THE US IS FULL OF ISSUES OF VIOLENCE OF STRUGGLE 
INTERNATIONALLY THERE ARE ISSUES AS WELL...

SO MANY PPL ARE OUT OF JOBS, MURDERED, OR JUST MISERABLE...

LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT.. LIVE HAPPILY AND YOU WILL ATTRACT POSITIVE VIBES AND OPPORTUNITIES..

I DONT TRUST ANYONE BUT IM WILLING TO GIVE PEOPLE THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT UNTIL I HAVE A REASON NOT TO

JUST NEEDED TO GET THIS WHOLE WEEK OFF MY CHEST...ITS BEEN AWHILE.

-JDM