Being a mean kid who picked on my big sister but loved her more than anything. Playing outside with my friends, listening to hip hop and R&B, Reggae and Latin Music. Begging my mom to let me stay out until the street lights came on or went out depending on the day. Watching my sisters go about their lives and fall in and out of love. Succeed and Fail. Knowing that when i grew up i would fight just as hard to make it thru this life.
Seeing my parents fight. to the death. Living in many different places. Situations too.
Old enough to travel alone. Doing Graffitti, Breaking Night. Rebelling. Teaching kids in my JHS how to dance to hip hop and all. Being the best of the best and the talk of the town. Being the most hated and the most known around.
Finding out my parents smoked. Them finding out i smoked. Both of us quitting LOL.
Losing my dad at 15 years old.
Being involved in one of the most organized "associations" known to latinos.
Being a leader, never a follower.
Being in love. Being in Lust. Being responsible for myself and my surroundings.
Being sent to councelor even tho i was bad before dad died.
Me going to hookey parties. cutting class to play handball because i loved the game. going to get GED and then going to College. Making more than high school grads and College grads at the age of 19.
Me loosing Mom at 21 a week after bday and fighting to keep my sanity. Public constantly judging me for what they hear and not what they see or experience. Me loosing job at 21 and moving on to the best job of my life to make double the money.
Socializing and networking until i became a nightlife personailty like the ones i used to watch and admire.
Friends coming and going trying to get a piece of my lifestyle.
Friends who became family.
Family who became friends and or cut off.
Getting chopped and screwed over by the game of life.
Losing a loved one atleast one a year.
Going thru different trials and error in relationships what is right what is wrong.
Having heart broken and being damaged for several years mentally.
Making mistakes and learning from them.
Fighting what were once close friends and wishing them the worst, for them disrespecting.
Being Loved and adored by so many people for so many reasons.
Being understood and misunderstood.
The best is yet to come.. to be continued.
This is life in my shoes
Jackie da Model
